


My Arms Are Open

by dixons_mama



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes Feels, Captain America: The First Avenger Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Gay Sex, Healing Sex, M/M, Making Love, Protective Steve, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-29
Updated: 2019-07-29
Packaged: 2020-07-25 13:51:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20026870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dixons_mama/pseuds/dixons_mama
Summary: When Steve sees that Bucky is struggling after escaping Azzano, he decides to do all he can to help the love of his life recover.





	My Arms Are Open

**Author's Note:**

> This was one of my favorite fics to write, I really hope you all enjoy reading it!
> 
> Thanks to Humapuma to being my always reliable beta. 
> 
> Thanks to Natalie_Ryan for being my cheerleader.

It'd been twenty-four hours since Steve had rescued Bucky from Azzano, and they'd yet to have a single opportunity to be alone. Steve felt his chest ache whenever he looked at Bucky, only to see a vacant stare that ended with full body shuddering and nervous glances at passers by. He knew Bucky better than anyone, but he'd never seen him like this. Steve needed to talk to him, to do whatever he possibly could to help Bucky. He decided to talk to Peggy about it. As he stood across from her at parade rest, Steve decided to use his Captain America voice.

"Agent Carter, Sergeant Barnes has refused medical treatment, but I think he could use a night to recuperate. I'd like him to have the night off from duty, and I'd like to keep an eye on him. " Steve told her, as his hands began fidgeting behind his back. He hoped Peggy wouldn't look too deeply into his request. Honestly, he only wanted to comfort his friend, he had no idea if their relationship still stood after all the changes and trauma.

"How about you take a room at the SSR for the night. I'll make sure the two of you have privacy." Peggy replied, not even looking up from her paperwork. Steve felt himself blushing.

"W-we're only gonna talk, I-I don't-" Steve tried to sputter out a coherent explanation, but Peggy cut him off.

"Steve, I'm not blind. Bucky needs to rest, you're his best friend," She glanced up at him then. "You're the only one he's going to feel safe enough around to be able to actually do that. Now, I'll set up arrangements, the room will be ready by the evening." Peggy smiled at Steve's pink face. "While I don't think anyone else knows, perhaps try to tone down the yearning stares?" Steve's eyebrows shot up, and he felt his entire body blushing.

"Um, yes, ma'am." He replied meekly. Peggy gave a nod, silently excusing him from her quarters.

As the sun was setting, Steve slung his small bag of toiletries and clothes over his shoulder as he approached Bucky, making sure Bucky heard him walking up behind him. He placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder, and smiled gently.

"I got us- well, you, I got you a private room for the night. Thought maybe you could use it, get some peace and quiet." Steve suddenly realized that he probably should've consulted with Bucky about this beforehand. What if he didn't want to spend alone time with Steve? Maybe Bucky hated him, now, for getting into the Army. For letting himself be used as a science experiment. Hell, maybe Bucky was disgusted by Steve's new body.

"Ok." Was all Bucky replied, so Steve lead him to the SSR bunker and quickly found the assigned room. Steve opened the door and Bucky went in right away, sitting on the single bed, and began unlacing his boots. Once they were removed, he looked up at Steve.

"Are.. are you staying?" Bucky asked hesitantly. Steve rubbed the back of his neck.

"If you want me to stay, I'll stay. I was hoping we could.. talk, or just.. I don't know, just spend some time together?" Somehow it came out as a question, and Bucky raised his brows at Steve's squirming figure.

"Yeah, that sounds nice. Stay." Bucky replied with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. Steve sagged in relief. He shut and locked the door, then sat on a chair beside the bed, and dropped his bag to the floor. Steve felt Bucky's eyes on him as he unlaced and removed his own boots. When he finally looked up, Bucky averted his gaze. The silence felt suffocating, and Steve wanted to scream. It had never been like this between them. Nothing had ever felt forced when they were together. That was before, though, Steve thought. After several long minutes, Steve decided to try and break the ice. 

"So, I-" But he was cut off, as Bucky put his face in his hands and began sobbing. Steve had never seen Bucky cry before, and he was almost too shocked to move, but luckily he was able to collect his senses. Getting on his knees in front of Bucky, Steve got between Bucky's knees and wrapped his arms around his friend. Bucky leaned over Steve's form and cried into his shirt. Steve felt hot tears spilling from his own eyes, but did his best to remain strong.

"I thought I was going to die, Steve. I wanted to! I prayed for them to kill me, just so the pain would end. I was so _ weak _." Bucky's voice was strained as he began sobbing harder. Steve grabbed Bucky's shoulders and pulled him back, to look him in the eyes.

"Bucky, you are _ not _ weak. You are the strongest, bravest man I know. Not wanting to suffer doesn't make you weak. More times than you know, I prayed for the same thing, when I was really sick, or gettin' my ass handed to me." Steve kept his tone gentle, but kept eye contact so that Bucky would know he was serious.

"I thought I was." Bucky whispered.

"Thought you were what?" 

"I thought I was dead, when I first saw you. Thought you were, too. Figured you must be, with the body you'd always deserved, and a part of the war you always wanted to fight in." Bucky replied hoarsely. "When I realized it was all real, I was even more scared."

"But why?" Steve asked, genuinely stunned by this revelation.

"'Cause I knew you were ok without me. You didn't need me to get by." Bucky had tears streaming down his cheeks as he spoke, but his voice was more even. Steve let out a choked sob.

"Bucky, I will _ always _ need you. No matter what my body looks like, I never want to have to get by without you in my life. I don't think I _ could _." Steve said, as his voice croaked with emotion. Bucky stared at him for a long time before enveloping him in a frantic hug.

"I need you, Stevie. All I can think about is the pain, the pain and the fear. _ Please _, make it stop." Bucky was crying again, and Steve knew exactly what he was asking for. He'd asked the same thing of Bucky after his mom died, when he'd been sure the hurt in his heart would never stop. Bucky had made it stop, he'd loved all the pain out of him.

"Shh, I got ya, Buck." Steve rubbed his hands up and down Bucky's back, trying to reassure him. "I'm gonna take care of you, just like you always took care of me. Ok?" Bucky simply made a whimpering noise and nodded his head against Steve's shoulder. Steve gently laid him back onto the bed, taking just a moment to look at the beautiful man before him. "I will always love you, Bucky Barnes." He said, and Bucky let out a choked sob, reaching up for Steve.

"I love you, Steve, please don't leave me." Bucky whispered the words as Steve leaned down to hug him. Once Bucky had settled down a little, Steve pulled back, and pressed his forehead to Bucky's. Bucky tilted his head up, and they kissed. It was chaste and delicate at first, but soon deepend and became more passionate. Steve slid his tongue over Bucky's lips, and they opened without hesitation. Tasting Bucky again made Steve moan, but before it could become more heated, he pulled back.

"Can I undress you?" Steve asked, and Bucky nodded.

"You first, though." Bucky asked, sounding almost bashful. Steve smiled and began removing his clothes. This was his first time being naked in front of Bucky since he'd gotten his new body, and even though everyone seemed enthralled by it, he worried it might turn Bucky off. Disgust him even. When Steve was fully undressed, though, Bucky looked at him like he always did. With love.

So, gently and carefully, Steve began undressing Bucky. As he unbuttoned Bucky's uniform shirt, his bright blue eyes darted nervously around the room, and when Steve finally began pulling down his boxers, Bucky's eyes finally settled on the man in front of him. He held his hands in front of his chest self consciously, trying to hide his bruised and battered body. Steve took his hands in his own and kissed each knuckle, then each finger tip, before placing Bucky's right palm to his chest. "You feel that? My heart? It beats for you, Bucky. Only you. Forever." Another set of tears spilled over Bucky's eyes when he nodded, then pulled Steve down to kiss him.

"And mine for you." Bucky said quietly, tilting his head back as Steve began kissing down his throat. Little breathless noises of pleasure spurred Steve on, and he continued down Bucky's body. He kissed and licked everywhere he could. From Bucky's clavicles, to his sternum, and to his nipples, when he paid careful attention, even lightly nibbling them. Once he reached Bucky's cock, it was hard, and pre come pearled at the slit. Steve lapped it up, then licked a stripe up the underside. Bucky moaned and Steve swallowed him down his throat.

"Oh, God! Missed you so much, Stevie." Bucky said, already sounding breathless. Steve released him from his mouth, and pushed Bucky's legs up, knees bent and feet flat on the bed. Steve kissed each knee, then reached for his bag beside the bed, and pulled out a tin of petroleum jelly. The sides of Bucky's lips curled into a small smile, and Steve blushed lightly. 

"I've obviously.. never done it this way. You were always better at taking the lead, but if you still want this, I'm going to make you feel as good as you've always made me feel." Steve ducked his head bashfully. "Well, I'll try my best, anyway." Bucky pulled Steve onto him, and hugged him tightly.

"I do want this. I _ need _ it, Steve. I know it'll be amazing, everything you do is." Bucky whispered into Steve's ear. Steve nuzzled his face into Bucky's neck, kissing it once before leaning back on his knees. He opened the tin of lube and coated his fingers liberally. Bucky grabbed the back of his knees and pulled them up towards his chest.

"Jesus fuck, Bucky." Steve let out a deep breath and reached between Bucky's legs. Slowly he ran his finger tip around Bucky's hole, while his other hand gently fondled his balls. After allowing Bucky to get used to the feeling, Steve slid his finger inside of him. Bucky gasped at the intrusion, but quickly forced himself to relax. Steve began stroking Bucky's cock, hoping to distract him from any discomfort, and slid the rest of his finger inside. Slowly he began pulling out, then sliding it back in. Bucky slung his arm over his eyes and groaned.

"You doing ok? Want me to stop?" Steve asked, stilling his hand. Bucky shook his head vigorously, not uncovering his eyes.

"Don't stop. Just feels kinda weird, but not bad. Keep going." Bucky replied. So Steve began moving his hand again, sliding his finger in and out. After several minutes, Bucky was beginning to breathe more heavily. "_ More _." He gasped.

Steve pulled his finger out, then pushed two of them into Bucky's willing hole. He couldn't believe how hot and tight it was around his fingers, he wasn't sure how his cock could possibly fit inside. Bucky had fucked him, though, and he wasn't lacking in size, so Steve figured it'd work out. He began moving his fingers inside of Bucky, spreading them and curving them slightly. When Bucky let out a startled yell and then moaned loudly, he froze. For an instant, he thought he'd hurt Bucky, but then he realized he'd hit that sweet spot. Bucky had hit his enough to know it was a mind blowing pleasure, so he continued.

"This feel good, baby?" Steve asked, nearly gasping himself, his cock was lying hard and heavy between his legs. 

"So good, Stevie, gimme more." Bucky begged, and Steve did as was asked of him. Bucky hissed when a third finger was added, so Steve stopped to give him a minute to get used to the intrusion. When he gave a nod, Steve continued slowly. It wasn't long before Bucky was shining in a layer of sweat, writhing on the bed. Steve was so hard he thought he might not even last to get inside Bucky, so he gripped the base of his cock and squeezed hard. Closing his eyes, Steve tried to will away his urge to come, when he opened them, Bucky was looking at him with lust blown eyes.

"Sorry." Steve mumbled, embarrassed. Bucky shook his head, then reached for Steve, pulling him in for a kiss.

"I'm ready." Bucky whispered against Steve's lips. Steve simply nodded, kissed him again, then sat back up. He retrieved the tin of lubricant and slicked his cock, then wiped his hand on a discarded pair of boxers. Steve leaned down on his elbows, then reaching down, grasped his cock and guided it to Bucky's hole. Bucky pulled Steve's face down and kissed him deeply, then wrapped his legs around Steve's waist, pushing down. Steve took the hint and pushed in. He pulled back as soon as the head of his cock penetrated the tight ring of muscle, and moaned at the incredible feeling. Bucky's eyes were squeezed shut and he was breathing erratically.

"Buck? Are you- are you ok?" Steve was doing all he could to stay still, the last thing he wanted was to hurt Bucky.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just.. a lot. Gimme a minute." Bucky panted out.

"Whatever you want." Steve said as he ran his fingers through Bucky's hair, hoping to help soothe him. After a minute, Bucky nodded his head.

"Ok, I'm ready. Just, go slow." Steve nodded back and kissed Bucky as he began sliding his cock in deeper. Every inch of his body felt like it was on fire. Sure, Steve had had sex with Bucky, and it always felt amazing. Having Bucky inside of him was one of his fondest memories. But _ this _, this was earth shatteringly good. Once he was fully sheathed inside of Bucky, he stayed still.

"Bucky? Bucky, what is it? What's wrong?" Steve asked frantically as he saw tears streaming down from Bucky's eyes. Bucky gave him a watery smile before wrapping both arms around him tightly.

"I just love you, so much. Feeling you inside of me is just.." Bucky hiccupped, trying to hold back his emotions.

"Intense?" Steve asked, and Bucky nodded.

"I needed this. Needed you to be a part of me, to feel you inside of my body. Knew you could make the pain stop." Steve let out a choked off sob, he wrapped his arms around Bucky and they cried holding each other. After a couple of minutes, Bucky gently pushed Steve up, and looked him in the eyes. Using his legs, he pushed down on Steve's hips. They both let out unexpected moans, and Steve began gently thrusting in and out of him. 

Bucky kept his hands on Steve the entire time, touching every part Steve's body that he could reach. They kissed, again and again, until they were panting and could only breathe into each other's mouths. Steve felt time stand still as he gazed into Bucky's eyes. They were still red rimmed from crying, but even that couldn't take away from the radiating stormy blue of his irises. Bucky's face was of pure bliss, but his eyes never left Steve's. He felt like Bucky was peering into his soul, cleansing him of all his sins.

"_ Bucky _." Steve whispered, as he began thrusting faster. Bucky cupped Steve's face and kissed his eyelids, then his nose, and mouth. Steve felt Bucky's grip tighten around his shoulders, as did his legs wrapped around Steve's waist. When Steve reached between them to reach Bucky's cock, he stopped him.

"No." Bucky's face was covered in sweat, and he was panting heavily. "Just like this. Wanna come just from you inside me." Steve nodded and held Bucky close, thrusting harder. The only sound in the room was the sound of flesh hitting flesh, along with quiet gasps and moans.

"Buck, 'm so close." Steve groaned as pleasure coiled deep in his groin.

"Do it. Come in me, Stevie. I need it." Bucky barely got the word out as he endlessly moaned and whimpered. "Oh, God! Gonna- gonna come!" Steve felt Bucky clench around his cock, then hot ribbons of come shot between their bodies. When Bucky dug his nails into his back, Steve thrust twice more before stilling, his cock filling Bucky with his seed. As they lay there, covered in sweat and come, trying to catch their breath, they continued to hold each other, and stare at one another. Neither attempting to move.

After several minutes, Steve leaned down to softly pepper kisses across Bucky's damp face. Bucky smiled at him, and ran his fingers through Steve's equally damp hair.

"I missed that smile." Steve said, grinning back at him. Bucky blushed, but couldn't help huffing out a laugh. "I missed everything about you. I love you so much, Bucky."

"I love you, too, Steve. I will love you til the end of the line." Bucky replied seriously, but still smiling.

"Til the end of the line." Steve said, then leaned in for another kiss from the love of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcome!
> 
> Find me on Twitter @dixons_mama


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